Do you suspect you might have married a narcissist? If so, this relationship is going to take a toll on your self-esteem and it is important to get some help. Now I am not a psychologist but I think it is important for all women to know something about these kinds of people so we can avoid them if possible.
So what is a narcissist and how do you identify them? Well, they are extremely selfish and attention-seeking people.
Their need for attention is called ‘Narcissistic Supply’ and it is like a drug addiction. If they are not getting their supply they will soon try high drama, emotional manipulation or infidelity. They will alternate between being childlike and needy to bullying and dominating.
They will lie, play up their achievement and blame others for their failures.
They will even accuse you of being selfish when you attempt to get one single need met.
Unfortunately, at the beginning of the relationship the narcissist can be very charming and make you feel special, you are the only one who makes them feel good.
But before you know it, you have lost all your friendships and feel drained.
So, what do you do?
To be completely frank if you want a loving, respectful relationship, the best thing you can do is get out and rebuild your life with someone who is willing to be fair and reasonable.
Don’t use your kids as an excuse to stay, that’s unfair to them. Remember, if you become empowered your kids see that as an example they can follow in their own lives too.
If you decide to stay know that the narcissist is very unlikely to change their behaviour.
Instead, look to encourage small acts of assistance like: ‘Thank you so much for putting away the shopping, that was very thoughtful”.
In any case, get counselling or coaching support like Matrix Therapies, to clear old parental patterns, which is probably why you ended up with someone like this in the first place.
Focus on what will build your self-esteem and self-respect and remember to reconnect with friends and activities that make you feel happy and empowered.