Anatomy of Self Sabotage

Have you ever set a goal and then procrastinated?

Is there something you really want to do but prioritise other less important tasks?

Are there key areas of your life that never get attention?

Self-sabotage is a strange phenomenon!

Why would anyone want something and then stop themselves from getting it?

And yet everyone has experienced it at some point in their lives.

There are 5 main reasons people self-sabotage. Some reasons are obvious, others more subtle.

I have outlined 3 here. For the rest be sure to join us for our 1 Day Event, it’s free CLICK HERE

Sabotage 1: Fear of Failing

This is relatively obvious and common in business and relationship goals, below are some examples I have seen.


Someone doesn’t set up a business because they are afraid of leaving the security of paid employment.

They feel a job offers more security, even though their income is dependent on someone else’s decision making, over which they have no control.


People don’t go on dates because they are afraid of being rejected or disappointed. Even though they want a partner, they would rather have the certainty of staying alone than the possibility of love.

The Answer

Until a person clears this fear from their subconscious mind they will avoid taking positive action towards their goal or they will take some steps towards the goal and then give up.

These types of fear do not respond well to simply talking because the problem doesn’t sit in the conscious mind.

It sits both in the subconscious and in the body.

After all no one wants to stop and talk if they are busy running away, even if it’s just in their mind!!

In our course Matrix Therapies we assist you to access the part of the brain where emotions and beliefs are stored, understand where the emotion is really coming from and resolve it.

Sabotage 2: Fear of Achieving

Some people have linked achieving a goal to a later negative consequence.


Say someone’s parents owned a business, worked very hard and neglected their kids . . .

Then this person might sabotage business goals because they are afraid they will neglect their family if they succeed, just like their parents did.

Of course this doesn’t need to be the case but until the belief that: We have to be a work-a-holic to succeed is cleared then this pattern can be a powerful deterrent.


If someone’s past relationship ended in betrayal then someone may sabotage relationships as an attempt to avoid pain, while all the time feeling the pain of loneliness.

The Answer

To break through this kind of deadlock 3 relationship problems need to be healed:

– the past relationship betrayal and the pain involved

– the pattern that created the negative relationship in the first place

– the emotion of fear

In this case, if just fear is cleared, the person may go ahead and repeat the old relationship pattern.

We also need to look at why someone entered a relationship of betrayal in the first place.

Often this has to do with patterns of relationship picked up from parents or deep feelings of: ‘not being good enough’ or ‘being unlovable’.

In our course Masculine and Feminine we assist you to clear deep patterns picked up from the influence of other people, so you can stop repeating problem behaviours.

Sabotage 3: Not knowing your passion and purpose

This form of self-sabotage is less obvious.

The person is sabotaging a goal because they intuitively know it is a distraction from doing what they REALLY want.

But they don’t have the tools or haven’t taken the time to find out what that is.

Sometimes self-sabotage is a good thing! It’s an invitation to take another direction.


Sometimes people set a business goal because they think it will make money but they have no passion for it.

They then find themselves unmotivated and procrastinating.

Energy comes from inspiration!

True motivation comes from passion!

We naturally move towards things we love rather than things we feel we have to do.

Of course love is not always easy but it is always desirable and that desire motivates us to solving problems that come up in any business.

So if you are sabotaging starting a business, it may be just fear, but it could be that type of business is not suited to you.

How do you know the difference?

Again, it requires the right tools to discover your real passion and purpose and how to make money from that.

This is what our Passion and Purpose course is designed to do.


Sometimes people sabotage a relationship because the person isn’t suited to them.

They hold onto the wrong person because they are afraid they won’t find someone else.

But all that time they are unhappy inside the relationship anyway and they are subconsciously sabotaging it hoping the other person will let go!

The Answer

In business and relationships, it is essential to understand exactly who we are, what makes us happy and be able to articulate that to others.

Then we can move forward with confidence knowing that what we put our time and energy into truly suits us in every area of our lives.

Our Passion and Purpose Course gives you the tools to know who you are, what makes you happy as well as clearing away blocks.

The ultimate Holy Grail of Success, Love and Happiness is to clear away what doesn’t serve us and to walk boldly in the direction of our dreams.

In order to be motivated and take action, we need to be sure they are OUR dreams and not someone else’s.

If you are interested in finding our more come to our free 1 Day Event for this season, The 22 Principles of Success, Love and Happiness and discover how you too can make your dreams a reality.

CLICK HERE and book now!

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